Tiny Tots 002: Criteria for choosing a Partner

Both genders have a criteria they apply when trying to pick a partner. I came across this information while reading 'The Rational Male' by Rollo Tomassi. We will firstly look at the criteria for males, and then that of females.

For a male, the only thing that is really taken into consideration is the soul mate mythology which states that 'she has to be the one for me because there is only one of those'. For a guy, the female of particular interest just has to fit in. If she does, she is considered compatible.

For a female, two factors constitute this criteria and come into play when she has to decide whether or not he is the one. The first is Hypergamy, which basically is a test for perfection. Hypergamy poses the question: 'Is he the one?', while the second factor, Soul Mate mythology, poses a supporting idea: 'he has to be the one because there is only one of those'. For a female, he not only has to be the one, he has to also be the right one.

Cheers.

Stronger On Your Own (about relos)

We tend to rush from one relationship to another, thinking that the next person is gonna love us and treat us better than the last, thinking that we can not take the of the pain of losing someone. We are so caught up in this way of thinking because rather than using our brains to think, we are using our feelings and emotions and fears. We depend on other people for our happiness. We think that only with them, we can be whole; that we can be complete. 

But that’s a lie! 

You and I are stronger on our own. We do not need other people to make us whole, we do not need other people to make us feel complete because our God created us with EVERYTHING WE NEED! A MASTERPIECE. Jumping from one relationship to another only shows that you do not value yourself enough to wait. Value-unstable people tend to do that. It only shows how insecure and vulnerable you are. And that is not, I repeat, NOT, who you really are, or rather, who you should be. You are just blinded by love. Your heart has the potential to heal itself. You can survive any heartbreak.

Don’t rush. 

Take it low and slow. 

If you value yourself enough, you would wait...because 'Love is Patient', and your heart is valuable and must be treated with respect, love and extra care.

Borders & Time (about LOVE)

At the start of any relationship, you have love. This love is the 'I Love You Despite' form of love because nothing about that special person can change how you feel for him/her. The boy and the girl fall in love and end up in a relationship. As time goes by, they learn a lot about each other. They learn each other’s backgrounds, interests, future goals and ambitions, strengths and weaknesses, etc... and they grow more and more, intimate. It is not until after the FIRST MISTAKE that tougher measures are brought up, just like in the Garden of Eden - BORDERS will be created.

She won’t allow him to do certain things, say certain things, or even entertain certain people, and he would most likely demand the same of her. Their expectations towards each other would grow. Each partner would want it to go their way. They would want to be heard, they would want to be followed, they would want the other partner to prove to them that they really love them by not crossing these BORDERS that they have set, thus turning the 'I Love You Despite' to 'I Love You If' and 'I Love You When'. The deciding factor now becomes TIME.

Only TIME will tell how true and loyal the other partner can be.

Only TIME will tell how much the other partner is willing to give up for the one he/she loves.

Only TIME will tell which BORDERS were worth not crossing.

Only TIME will tell True Love.